I've caved in. :/

[kittyhot.livejournal.com]

What's wrong with lolita being a lifestyle? Do you just think it seems stupid? If so, who are you to judge how other people live their lives? Has a lifestyle-lolita ever harmed you? Do you even understand what the lolita culture and lifestyle IS?

I just get confused and offended when people go "Lolita isn't supposed to be anything more than fashion," or "Some people just take lolita way too far." I don't care if you're joking; too many people say it. So can someone explain this viewpoint to me?

Comments

[earthsent.livejournal.com]

Basically, everyone has their own opionion. Since there are a gazillion people in the world, you're bound to run into a few who think the same things~

[chiichick.livejournal.com]

The only reason that I would think the lolita lifestyle aspect could be bad, is if dressing that way prevented someone from getting a job. I say that as someone who lives in a very small town and I know that if I wore it everyday I wouldn't be able to keep the job I have.
Other than that, I agree with you completely, I see nothing against it or why people should bother themselves to insult the way others live. I always like to see other's wearing something that actually represents something non harmful with individuality in fashion or lifestyle.
But I suppose we can never see inside everyone's heads.

[earthsent.livejournal.com]

*cough*brain surgeons*cough*

I agree, actually. As long as you don't let lolita stop you from doing other things you like, then its allright.

[aingli-deas.livejournal.com]

I wonder too...

I know some people are very opinionated about it, but if they don't like it, why do they take the time to flame people who do view it as a lifestyle? I mean, it doesn't effect them any if that particular person views them as "not a good loli", why do they care so much? I think a lot of people who do flame others for viewing it as a lifestyle are just very insecure about their own looks and style, otherwise, I don't see the point (I guess they could be seriously lacking a life and also PMSing, but still).

I'm inbetween. I've got a peter pan complex, and I also have expensive tastes in things, so I find I can fit the "lifestyle" thing and a lot of my personal views (like tattoo's, sex, and manners) do fit in as well. But I haven't like sworn myself to a life of lolitaness. I used to be goth and got yelled at for not living the "lifestyle". Clothes are for wearing, my main attraction to lolita is the lack of class in todays fashions, and I don't want to convert my life to fit it. I especially am not a wapanese, which I think is truly needed to fulfill that "japanese lolita" lifestyle.

I've been judged many many times on the way I live my life, and not just lolita wise. So I've been learning not to do the same, cause it truly sucks. And I hope others learn a bit and stop caring about what others think so much too.

[chiichick.livejournal.com]

"but if they don't like it, why do they take the time to flame people who do view it as a lifestyle?"

Agreed!

[hart-chaos.livejournal.com]

Well, it depends on how both yourself and the peopple around you see what lolita and a lifestyle actually is.

My definition of what a lifestyle would be is probably very different to what anyone else's would be because I'm under different circumstances. I'm at uni for anywhere from 4-10 hours a day and the fact that I have to do hands-on work with electrical mixing gear that spends most of its time sitting in closets prohibits me from wanting to wear even casual lolita to uni.

Not only that, but my mindset firmly tells me that if I want to be taken seriously I can't wear it to uni when I have my tech lectures.

Because of that, even just wearing the fashion and spending time with and talking to other people would be enough to call it part of my lifestyle. Consequently, I'm gonna see anyone that immerses themselves drastically more than I do as a bit of a fool/tool.


Different people understand things diffferently and you're just going to have to rest assured that the people in this community are on your side.

[niflheim-garden.livejournal.com]

"Not only that, but my mindset firmly tells me that if I want to be taken seriously I can't wear it to uni when I have my tech lectures."
*nodds head in agreement* u_u;;

For my 2 cents, I think it's really hard for anyone living in a modern industrial society today to take lolita to the extreme (eg dress Lolita as everyday clothes, have 'lolita' hobbies, have afternoon tea everyday, acting demure and polite to everyone and not do anything unladylike), at least past childhood. i guess you can live a lolita lifestyle if you're a really rich heir or something but for the majority of independent, adult people, it's just not reasonable to strictly follow the tenets of hardcore lolita. IMO, it seems that the majority of lolitas just really like the aesthetics and are not immersed very deeply in it for the lifestyle.

Some people are critical of lolita and say it is escapism, and that lolitas are lazy or luxurious. But if you've managed personal affairs successfully and you are living the lolita life that you love, then these people are overstepping their boundaries by criticizing you for the lifestyle.
(if you owe them money, however, that is a different story ;)

[phantasmrose.livejournal.com]

I notice that people who tend to want to dress/act outside the norm tend to be the people who are most likely to run home crying the second someone raises an eyebrow at them. I think if people want to live a unique sort of lifestyle that deviates from standard society, that they should feel free to. However, I don't want to hear anyone whining about how distraught they are over the people at the grocery store asking if it was Halloween already. I split my living time between Los Angeles and Orange County, which are, despire geographical nearness, vastly different as far as culture goes. While I am in Los Angeles, I dress however I like, but when I am in Orange, I bust out my jeans and button down shirts, because I don't like being stared at. Some people don't care, and more power to them. Just know what you're doing when you do it.

[abbie-chan.livejournal.com]

Since I actually do always try to live the Lolita lifestyle (whether I'm dressed in it or not) I do wonder the same thing myself. It does take a certain amount of discipline to truely do "Loli-life" and some people just don't want to do it. They want to be able to wear a pretty dress whenever they want, and then be able to act however they want when they are/aren't in said clothing.

[pixelatedtrash.livejournal.com]

Whats wrong with wanting to be able to wear a pretty dress whenever they want, and then be able to act however they want when they are/aren't in said clothing?

If people can wear (western) victorian wear and act like they want, or punk wear for that matter and do as they please, why not this?

[clawdine]

Because lolis who apparently 'live the lifestyle' like to force their opinions on other lolis who merely treat it as a fashion.

It is annoying.

The lifestyle lolis I see are usually people who haven't got a job and are young, too.

And yes lolitas do take it too far sometimes. Like the recent fiasco of the Novala girl? I don't think we should let the GLB govern our life.

[earthsent.livejournal.com]

Icon love.

[rotten-tapioca.livejournal.com]

Well, what the hell is the lolita life style?:0

I consider myself mannered and polite. I am nice to others, a bit of a prud and like the modest styles of lolita, but I do not think that is because I want to live a lolita lifestyle, thats just me.

I don't really think of lolita as a lifestyle because there are so many types of lolita. Also I don't want to be seen as a certain way because of how I dress. If I wear all black, does that mean I am gothic and therefore must live the gothic lifestyle?

Lifestyle or not it is a personal decision and no one should be telling anyone else what to think.:)

[kurara.livejournal.com]

I think you've just contradicted yourself..

Actually, what bothers people who complain about this is because the lolitas who find lifestyle important and take the fashion style very seriously judge other girls and believe everyone should have to follow a set of rules to be the "perfect lolita".

I have said these things before, but that's because I think some people are complete elitists about the style, and it's really annoying in my opinion.

I think there's nothing wrong with having a personality and having interests that match the lolita lifestyle as long as you don't impose them on others.

[mint-cake.livejournal.com]

Actually, what bothers people who complain about this is because the lolitas who find lifestyle important and take the fashion style very seriously judge other girls and believe everyone should have to follow a set of rules to be the "perfect lolita".

I agree. I think its just fine that everyone has their own opnions on the whole lifestlye/fashion thing. Were all entitled to think differently. But when people start pushing their beliefs on community, saying things like "anyone who does not live and pursue the "lolita lifestyle" are not real lolita's." that's when the trouble starts.

[daitenshi-dream.livejournal.com]

kurokaze kinda of hit the nail on the head (icon love!).

I haven't seen lifestyle bashing, but I've seen those who choose to attemt to live the lifestyle bashing those who just love lolita for the fashion. =/ I'm 23 and have a corporate job. I'm also raunchy and rude.... but I love to settle down every now and then and have tea parties while dressed as a giant freakin' cupcake (love to my sweets dress).

[new-xero.livejournal.com]

yay for raunchy lolitas

That's your style...

[christinablue.livejournal.com]

The 'lifestyle' some people take on with it just reflects the interests that probably attracted them to Lolita - like the Victorian aesthetic. Hence the tea parties, period mannerly behaviors, etc. But since there is so many variants of Lolita...I don't see how there can be a "lolita lifestyle'. There's nothing wrong with doing things everyday that reflect your style, though. Fashion is a part of style. Style is more than just the fashion you wear.

[nandy-pandy.livejournal.com]

Although I think of it as just fashion, I don't think it's a bad thing for people to live a loli lifestyle. What I do get upset at is when people criticize each other for not doing things the same way. Some people like the clothes and that's it; others make an entire lifestyle out of it. Neither one is wrong; what I personally have a problem with is the attitude that one or the other is wrong. When I say that someone takes lolita too far, I'm most likely referring to someone who's being very critical of someone else. "OMG YOU ARE WEARING SKY BLUE SHOES WHEN YOUR DRESS IS OBVIOUSLY ROBIN'S EGG BLUE, YOU ARE NOT LOLITA YOU IMPOSTER YOU ARE AN EMBARASSMENT TO LOLIS ALL OVER THE WORLD" -- it does get on my nerves when someone simply wants to post a few photos, only to be greeted with an assload of criticism about her outfit, hair, shoes, etc. That, to me, is taking it too seriously.

[maryshmary.livejournal.com]

my problems with the lolita "lifestyle" is that i firmly believe it doesn't exist in the real world. it is an impossible lifestyle. the whole fantasy some people have built up around lolita fashion seems like if it were practiced it would be extremely unhealthy mentaly, physically, and socially. you would weigh 1394565 lbs from eating nothing but cake and other sweets, not to mention you probably wouldnt get any exercise because jogging doesnt fit the "lifestyle." when people go on and on talking about how "true" lolitas should live the a certain way then i get much more offended than if someone were to call my outfit ugly. why? because it implies that NOTHING i do is good enough for that person. it is patronizing and rude.

on the other hand, someone living a practicle lifestyle heavily influenced by gothic lolita ideals then i have no problem with it. then again, a person who truely stuck to the ideals people seem to think lolita emodies then they wouldn't be asshats to other people on the internet :-p they would be helpful, well mannered, and kind rather than brash and condescending.

well anyway thats my 2 cents.

[especially.livejournal.com]

Your 2 cents rawk :DDDD

OMG I SPELLED IT 'RAWK' therefore I am not loli :( And must have the metabolism of a ...fish..or ...something... so I can eat the goodies.

[allureviola.livejournal.com]

like the victorian culture, which encompasses manners, virtues and a way of living, i think the true elegant lolita is the one who learns to understand its her inner soul that matters the most. some are cold on the outside, uncertain, dreamy and in their own world, in love with prettiness, but most of all on the inside they should accept themselves, and remember that there are other people, with their own secrets and love, in their own world.

[kittyhot.livejournal.com]

YAY! You understand! How refreshing, in between a bunch of "what the heck is lolita lifestyle?" comments ^^;;; I don't think I've ever met a lolita with a concept so close to mine...!

[sansele.livejournal.com]

Well, what is the lolita lifestyle and culture? Everyone seems to think "Oh, it's when I'm being prim and proper, and that is the meaning of lolita."

I think that's a bit too narrow-minded. A Lolita would probably follow Novala: "I do not need friends." "I am escaping from reality." There's a lot more than pretty manners. There must be a certain amount of selfishness inside, and of pride. Self comes first. Clothes are more important than other people.

It is all very pretty to look at and to listen to, but ultimately, you can't live lolita completely and utterly, unless you have tons of money and servants to take care of you. And I find it offensive that the True Lolitas pooh-pooh people who don't have those resources, and declare they know not the true meaning of being a Lolita.

Really, in the end, lolita is just a fashionable reason to live an alternative lifestyle.

[kitzune.livejournal.com]

If it makes you happy, do it, and don't care what anyone else has to say. Most of the time they're just jealous, not necessarily because you're doing something they wanted to do but that you're doing something that they feel you are not allowed to do.

[kittyhot.livejournal.com]

Heh, that's a good way of putting it ^^;

[vampy.livejournal.com]

Wow and it looks like someone wants to start an arguement XD

Why on Earth let it bother you so damn much? You live how you want to live, it's your life. No one is dictating what you should be doing or what is right and wrong in your life. So getting so upset about other peoples personal views is silly.

[kittyhot.livejournal.com]

Who me? >_>...............XD

Well I'm glad I asked, because I understand everyone better now ;P

[stockingshock.livejournal.com]

I use the term 'lifestyle loli' for me personally, but only 'cos it's the only subculture I can identify with to any degree.

I think the lifestyle as decreed by the Bible is a)meant to be a joke...
and b) awfully silly in any case.
I think the lifestyle as decreed by Shimotsuma Story/Novala Takemoto etc. is likewise.
I don't care what they are doing in Japan, really.
I don't like dolls. I don't like etiquette. I don't like simpering and sitting neatly so you don't get your clothes dirty. I dont' want to eat nowt but iced fancies- I'm too good a cook for that. ;-) I'm rarely cheerful all the time, but I'm depressive so I have an excuse. I don't like romanticising history to make it fit in with your pretty ideas.

I use the term because all the things I like to do fit in quite nicely with Lolita. That's all.

I like to bake, I like to sew, I like to go for walks. I like tea (but that's more because I'm British than loli, and in any case it's brown muck swilled from a huge mug, not a dainty wee china cup.)
When I'm fully dressed-up, it does affect my behaviour, the same way that any costume does. It just tweaks me a bit; wearing big skirts makes you a bit bouncy when you walk, wearing big shoes makes you more aware of your feet.
I don't like being stared at particularly but the problem is that people *know of me* and will shout stuff even when I am not dressed up. It makes me happier to wear the clothes- and be shouted at- than to have to dress like a pod person.
I do live in the 'real world'. I'm self-employed, so if I were sitting about all day mooching about ribbons, I wouldn't make any money. And I don't get paid sick leave so I can't take time off suffering from 'romantic ennui'.

I like to visit stately homes. The fact that I'm a raging working-class agitator who really does not agree with a hereditary aristocracy aside- that's why we have English Heritage. ;-) I'd visit Versailles for tea, but I'd be trying to bring 'em down from the inside.
If people ask about my clothes, I just tell them it's a weird fashion that I like that originated in Japan, and leave it there. I don't evangelise about my perfect day-to-day frilliness.

('Oh, but Miss! don't you know that Novala has a wonderful plan for your life?')

So I suppose I fail chronically on the impracticaloli scale, but my personal rating for lifestyle success is how well you make it your own. So far, no rifts.

I really could not give one of two figs if anyone wants to just wear the clothes. It's not my business. I cannot understand from either side of the debate why anyone would want to grill others on their 'commitment' etc.

As for the silly pretty-headed gurlettes who gush and twitter about living in Rococoland and eating cake all day, I find them very boring.

And to be honest, I haven't seen much of this apparent firestorm from non-lifestyle lolis. Would have thought they were too, y'know, casual? about it.
Or maybe all the gushing lolettes were sending them hyperglycaemic.

[wickedmizeri.livejournal.com]

So well stated. I applaud you.

in any case it's brown muck swilled from a huge mug
I'm from Texas and I make my hot tea with my coffee machine and usually drink it out of a 12oz mug that says "Freak" on the side, half filled with artificial sweetener. I'm so ÜberLoli.

[seeinglife.livejournal.com]

Some people do take lolita way too far, as in slavishly take seriously everything written about lolita by Japanese even though much of it isn't meant to be, or getting upset when people don't behave within their version of what the lolita lifestyle is and yell at them for it.

Most of the common ideas of what a lolita lifestyle are are simply not be or what I am interested in. That's fine. I'll leave lifestyle lolitas to it if they leave me to mine.

[miffytoki.livejournal.com]

Why bring this up again? You don't see the non-lolita lifestyle people with a stick up their butts about how you guys are living the lolita life.

How lolita is YOUR life? How much do you weigh? How tall are you? How much money do you make, or are you independently wealthy? How much brand do you own? How old are you? Do you work or go to school? Do you have flawless skin?

and since the lolita life is also indulgent: how much excess do you have or live in that is really yours? Do you enjoy multiple lovers as many women living that lifestyle did, indulging yourself in sexual pleasure? Are you beautiful enough that men line up for miles to catch a glimpse of your pale, fair skin?

Why is it that only the nazi-lolis are complaining? Isn't it against your lolita lifestyle to get all up in arms about it - shouldn't cares and worries about other people be beyond you? You transcend the people who cannot fathom living as perfect a lifestyle as yours.

so in essence, to be lolita, you need to just get over it.

[wickedmizeri.livejournal.com]

Why is it that only the nazi-lolis are complaining? Isn't it against your lolita lifestyle to get all up in arms about it - shouldn't cares and worries about other people be beyond you? You transcend the people who cannot fathom living as perfect a lifestyle as yours.
Ouch. But so true...

[sonia-leong.livejournal.com]

Some people just can't afford to live the full Loli lifestyle ideal, in time and/or money. So for some it's just a fashion.

For others who are more lucky, they can pursue loli activities more often. Good for them.

The fashion-only lolis just get annoyed when the lifestyle-lolis put them down. So it's only natural that the fashion-only lolis want to defend themselves and their beliefs.

I don't think there is anything truly wrong with either side.

But some non-loli activities can bring down the overall tone of a photoshoot! ^o^ Keep the rock tattoos, cigarettes and beer out of the camera shot unless you're making a comedy shoot, or dress punk loli/visual. ^_~

[kittyhot.livejournal.com]

I must not be in the same boat as those people. I don't necessarily think being rich = loli lifestyle, heh. You just gotta save...eat ramen for 2 weeks...haha. Then you can buy that nice dress you've been eyeing ^^

[liquoricee.livejournal.com]

What attracted me to lolita was the fact that I love Victorian fashion and I love anything cute in a non-sickly, stupid way. I play violin and piano, I'm a ballerina, I love reading and writing, I'm respectful of others and I despise blatant rudeness. I am willing to invest in brand clothing because I'm not all that good sewing and I'd rather have a good quality skirt or coat than one that looks as though it's about to fall apart. But you know, I would HATE to be a lot of people's definition of a 'lifestyle' lolita.

I smoke, I go to wild parties, I don't sit around at home drinking tea and dreaming. I dreamed for too many years, now is the time to DO for me. I don't see myself as being above others and their 'uncouth' ways. I can be as uncouth as anything. I voice my opinions and I feel that others should voice theirs or at least FORM an opinion even if they don't share it out of shyness and the like. It's nice to idealise things but it's nice to LIVE as well. The impression that I get is that 'true' lolitas are meant to speak quietly and be completely inoffensive, meek and weak. That could never be me. I spent too many years before discovering lolita as a quiet person unwilling to be confrontational. I'm still very passive and calm but I am by no means weak.

One reason that I love lolita fashion is that I stand out in it. People just can't ignore some giant-skirted doll-person walking down the street. Rather un-lolita of me to like getting attention from those non-lolita plebs, is it not?

[kittyhot.livejournal.com]

Wow! I really agree with you, but I also believe that a lolita should be the exact opposite of weak, quiet, and meek. No wonder people are yelling at me for bringing up "lolita lifestyle"! It seems everybody really has their own versions of the ideal lolita.

You surprised me when you said "But I would HATE to be a lot of people's definition of a 'lifestyle' lolita" because to me you sound like one! Even despite the partying--I mean come on, not everybody can sit around reading and being lame all day!

[tropigalia.livejournal.com]

All I can say is,

"Is this toilet loli?"

yeah.

i dunno, is this one? X-D

[maryshmary.livejournal.com]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v76/MaryShmary/gothic_n_lolita.jpg <--- my absolute favorite drawing

[meiki.livejournal.com]

It's all a matter of opinion, I have no problem with people who live a "lolita lifestyle" but I do have a problem with them trying to make people do the same. However, I wouldn't do it myself because it just seems a little silly to base your personality and day to day life on a fashion. Especially because fashion is such a changing thing, chances are you're not still going to be wearing EGL when you're 80.

Just my two cents.

[http://users.livejournal.com/__transylvania/]

[dykestar.livejournal.com]

hahahahahaha! Best.Comment.EVER!!!